Comments on: Convicted Alaska Militia Leader Fires Attorney

By: Reynardine

Reynardine — Thu, 19 Jul 2012 00:09:36 +0000

Actually, I tried to post a sample motion of the kind, but for some reason they took it down.

By: Erika

Erika — Wed, 18 Jul 2012 18:47:41 +0000

if there was a “not guilty by reason of stupidity” verdict it would be used extremely frequently :)

By: bReynardine

bReynardine — Wed, 18 Jul 2012 18:16:04 +0000

Yodz, I’ve been out of the business this many a year, but it’s Florida.

A woman sued our county because she was struck by lightning on the beach by a “bolt from the blue” (no menacing weather before- it happens here). The judge told her he knew who did it, but the court had no jurisdiction over Him. I believe the same decision would be rendered on your “Motion to Fix Stupid”.

By: Yodz

Yodz — Wed, 18 Jul 2012 01:13:04 +0000

Reynardine,

I, likewise, have considered filing such a motion. Perhaps we can work together on a motion entitled “Motion to Fix Stupid.” Unfortunately it would be denied since that’s not within the power of any court…or anyone else for that matter. What state do you practice in?

By: Reynardine

Reynardine — Mon, 16 Jul 2012 09:20:18 +0000

Note: Bastille Day celebration one day late this year, but successful.

By: Reynardine

Reynardine — Fri, 13 Jul 2012 18:17:37 +0000

Actually, I could foresee one or more of such Irish judges, when the foregoing motion was presented to them, granting it…to be carried out on the morning of New Year’s Day, 2094.

By: Reynardine

Reynardine — Fri, 13 Jul 2012 14:10:51 +0000

By the way, Yodz, I have thought of dropping such a motion anonymously in the clerk’s in-box (fictitious client and case, of course)

By: Reynardine

Reynardine — Fri, 13 Jul 2012 14:07:38 +0000

One time, when I, constructively and in part French, had been working all day without so much as a sip of wine, I had just lain down to sleep in only a pair of undercrackers when I was roused by a thunderous knock on the door. I grabbed a .44 snub revolver and rushed to see what the emergency was, only to discover a drunken client and her grotty boyfriend. Her plea was that she was at least Italian. That was when such a motion first crossed my mind. Had the judge been one of our local Irish Catholics, I would have phrased it thus;

“Your Honor, suppose you had worked all St. Patrick’s day without a drink or a break or a good wish, and the person who got you up like that was an Orangeman?…”

By: Erika

Erika — Fri, 13 Jul 2012 14:00:43 +0000

No. Actually, I don’t even know where Alma College is

By: Yodz

Yodz — Fri, 13 Jul 2012 12:32:02 +0000

Erika and Reynardine:

I thinks you may be on to something. It would be unbelievable fun to show up at court to argue that motion. Erika, you didn’t happen to go to Alma College, did you?

By: Reynardine

Reynardine — Wed, 11 Jul 2012 13:52:14 +0000

Erika, I hope I have provided you with a useful template motion. Of course, it is modeled on the one used in the State of Florid Self-Representations.

By: Erika

Erika — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 22:01:48 +0000

I am of the belief that the practice of law would be great if it didn’t have to involve clients :)

By: Linda Kellen Biegel

Linda Kellen Biegel — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 21:30:02 +0000

I forgot to mention, the information you attributed to Alaska Pride came from Jill Burke’s piece in Alaska Dispatch. He linked to it.

By: Linda Kellen Biegel

Linda Kellen Biegel — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 21:22:10 +0000

I would hesitate to use the “Alaska Pride” blog as a source for most things (although he is occasionally reasonable). The blog has always been “white pride” affiliated, thus the double meaning of the title. He’s more subtle about it now, but you can still see his leanings in the “Alternative Media” list.

By: Reynardine

Reynardine — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 20:54:12 +0000

IN THE LXIX JUDICIAL CIRCUIT
IN AND FOR SINKHOLE COUNTY

CASE # ***

JOAN PAINHOLE

JUST ABOUT EVERYBODY

MOTION TO SHOOT CLIENT

Comes now Undersigned Counsel for Plaintiff and moves this honorable Court for permission to shoot client. As good grounds therefore, s/he states as follows:

Client is a formidable pain in the *.

(Fill in particulars)

Wherefore, for good grounds as stated and such others as suggest themselves to this honorable Court, the undersigned respectfully requests permission to shoot Client.

Respectfully submitted,

By: Reynardine

Reynardine — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 20:43:48 +0000

Actually, you can withdraw from a case because of non-co-operation of a client, but in certain instances I have wished we could shoot them.

By: Aron

Aron — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 18:26:30 +0000

I second Erica’s motion.

The Erica the Commenter Idiot Client Rule motion has passed. Now all we need is the President to sign it into law.

And then the lawyering profession can become that much easier! ;)

By: Erika

Erika — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 17:38:50 +0000

Just once, I would like to see a criminal defense attorney file a motion for “ineffective assistance of client” and a motion for a new client :)