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In New Novel, Glenn Beck Warns of Squirrel-Worshipping Socialists

By Leah Nelson on November 27, 2012 - 8:10 am, Posted in Conspiracies

America’s favorite far-right entertainer, Glenn Beck, has always got the scoop on the coming End of the World and how to protect yourself from it. When he’s not urging fans to buy guns and gold, he’s telling them to build bunkers and stock up on food.

Now, just in time for the holidays, the fear-mongering eschatologist is shilling for a new prophecy of doom – one that comes wrapped in a neat dust jacket, ready to stuff in your loved one’s stocking.

Released on Nov. 20, Beck’s latest contribution to the American literary scene is Agenda 21, a dystopian novel set in a not-too-distant future in which America has been taken over by radical socialist environmentalist atheistic technocrats who steal babies and control all citizens with an iron fist, watching and reporting on everything they do.

Weirdly enough, Agenda 21 brings to mind no book so much as Margaret Atwood’s feminist masterpiece The Handmaid’s Tale, also set in a not-too-distant-future America. Atwood’s dystopian future is overseen by Christian televangelists who run a patriarchal dictatorship centered on reproduction in which women are completely subjugated to men, and reproduction is subjugated to everything.

Agenda 21 is a near-perfect political inverse with a very similar plotline. Its protagonist is Emmeline, a teenaged girl who lives in a Republic ruled by supreme leader “Fabian” (doubtless a reference to the Fabian Society, a U.K.-based socialist group that formed around the turn of the 20th Century which favored a gradualist approach to implementing socialism and some of whose early members embraced eugenics) and countless minions who monitor every aspect of citizens’ lives.

Unlike the religious fanatics of The Handmaid’s Tale, the authorities who control Emmeline’s universe are ardent atheists who have destroyed all the churches and forbidden citizens to utter the word “God.” In this world, human life has no value: squirrels run free and are feted with the ever-diminished crop yields, while humans are interned in highly regulated compounds (FEMA camps, anyone?) and must work endless hours, sustaining themselves only on tasteless “nourishment cubes.” All children are raised in collectivist villages, and deformed babies, people who can no longer produce and dissidents are “recycled” in a plant that employs teenagers to its ugly work.

Though it’s a work of fantasy, Agenda 21 is named after a United Nations sustainability plan that Beck and other conspiracy theorists have described as a vast and vicious plot to take complete control of all the world’s resources, implementing a communist dictatorship that will deprive Americans of their constitutional rights. In reality, Agenda 21 is a voluntary, non-binding, and not terribly successful U.N. agenda for sustainability that was signed in 1992 by President George H.W. Bush and 177 other world leaders, who have since proceeded to do practically nothing to implement even its most basic provisions.

Though it’s not an excruciatingly bad read, Agenda 21 is replete with tired similes and grating staccato sentences that beat a repetitious rhythm as unimaginative and predictable as its plot.

At the novel’s beginning, Emmeline lives with her parents in a tiny space just big enough for sleeping mats and the treadmill-like “energy boards” on which she and her mother must walk interminable hours to feed energy into the Republic’s insatiable power grid.

There are no books, prayer is forbidden, hard currency has been eliminated, and only government agents are allowed to carry firearms. Citizens subsist on their nourishment cubes, while squirrels, wolves and birds are worshipped and fed until they proliferate and fill the wild lands between compounds. At night, humans must attend Social Update meetings, where they pledge allegiance to the earth and mindlessly praise the Republic.

Under the tutelage of her mother, a former high school history and Sunday School teacher who revered the Founding Fathers, Emmeline learns a bit about the “before-times,” when she and her parents lived on a big farm in Kansas.

But everything changes when it is discovered that Emmeline is of reproductive age. Whisked to a medical clinic for invasive testing which confirms her fertility, she is issued a headscarf – which like all women of childbearing age she must wear whenever she is outside of her living space – and quickly “paired” with a total stranger with whom she must reproduce. Like all children, the little girl she bears is to be raised in a sterile “children’s village,” to be reared by the state according to scientific standards. Emmeline herself is one of the last “homeschooled” children with actual parents – a fact that makes her the subject of much smirking by younger people raised by the government, but which ultimately gives her the strength and knowledge to escape. Which, of course, she eventually does, bringing Beck’s tale, mercifully, to its utterly predictable conclusion.

Actually, as it turns out, Beck is not even the true author of this plodding opus. According to a Nov. 19 article published in Salon, that honor belongs to woman named Harriet Parke, who agreed to be advertised as its ghost-writer but in fact wholly conceived of and wrote the story, agreeing later to cede ownership of the idea to Beck, presumably in exchange for the better visibility and money his name would bring her.

His name isn’t the only thing Beck added to Parke’s work. Never subtle, the former Fox News star appended an Afterword guaranteed to send shivers down the spine of any far-right, New World Order-fearing paranoiac.

“Before all of the accusations begin about me promoting some kind of conspiracy theory, let me be clear: this novel plays out the ideas and concepts contained in the real Agenda 21 to their extreme ends,” he writes. “I do not really believe, for example, that people will be reciting pledges in honor of squirrels any time soon – but when animals and nature are valued more highly than human life, all kinds of absurd things begin to enter the realm of possibility.”

“Like most plans with evil, world-changing intentions, Agenda 21 doesn’t exactly advertise itself that way,” he continues. “Those who are behind it know that they would never get the support they need if they simply stated their true objectives.”

For instance, “Words like ‘equitably’ should always ring alarm bells.” Why? Because “‘[e]quitable’ means something very different to developing countries than it does to Americans. Whereas we might believe that increasing our gas mileage, using dimmer switches on our lights, or programming our thermostats is doing our fair share, the rest of the world strongly disagrees. They don’t want our conservation, they want our money. Our technology. Our land and natural resources.”

“At its core, “ Beck writes, “Agenda 21 is all about control.” And if concerned citizens don’t put a stop to it, he warns, Agenda 21 could be a tool to make it illegal to build a fence; chop down a tree; have more than one child; or even (horrors!) to dump a cup of coffee in the ocean.

Beck is hardly the first far-right figures to embrace the idea that sustainable development is a socialist conspiracy. In 2002, libertarian commentator and former Ron Paul aide Lew Rockwell – who has also been known to issue his own doomsday warnings about an impending U.S. civil war – ran on his website an article claiming that environmentalism is a crypto-communist plot whose ideological leaders include Mikhail Gorbachev, former president of the USSR, and Muammar Qaddafi, the eccentric Libyan dictator who was deposed in 2011 and was later killed.

WorldNetDaily, a far-right online clearinghouse for all manner of conspiracist nonsense, is also on board with the environmentalism-as-communism meme. In 2012, for instance, WND columnist Brian Sussman revealed to readers that environmentalists belong to a religion called “biocentrism” whose earth-worshipping adherents celebrate rites such as buying hybrid vehicles, becoming vegans, “[a]nd for the exceptionally devout,” having abortions “to fight global warming.”

Charles Krauthammer, an influential neoconservative pundit, has also jumped on the bandwagon. In a 2009 column for the Washington Post, he warned that socialists in the thrall of the “newest religion: environmentalism,” are intent on “shaking down the industrial democracies in the name of the environment.” “[E]nvironmentalism is becoming the new socialism, i.e., the totemic ideal in the name of which government seizes the commanding heights of the economy and society,” Krauthammer wrote.

Nor is Beck the first to seize on the idea that Agenda 21 is an evil menace that must be stopped. That dubious honor belongs to the American Policy Center, an antigovernment group whose leader, Tom DeWeese, has spent years telling anyone who will listen that the U.N.’s nonbinding sustainability initiative is really a plot by “international forces” intent on “turning [American] communities into little soviets.” Phyllis Schlafly’s ultraconservative Eagle Forum has taken up the anti-green flag, as has the resurgent John Birch Society, best known for claiming that President Eisenhower was a secret communist and that water fluoridation was a communist plot to poison America. In 2011, JBS launched a massive campaign to spread the word about of Agenda 21’s perfidy, warning that the ultimate goal of this 20-year-old plan is nothing less than a new world order in which rural regions will be depopulated and foreign bureaucrats will mandate family size here in the United States, imposing forced abortions as they do in communist China.

Alabama, Hatewatch’s home state, bought the propaganda, and in May became the first state to outlaw Agenda 21 altogether. Also spooked, the Republican National Committee in January passed a resolution opposing Agenda 21, decrying the nonbinding measure as “a comprehensive plan of extreme environmentalism, social engineering, and global political control.” Counties in various states have adopted similar resolutions, as has the Tennessee House of Representatives.

Ironically, Agenda 21’s agents are not nearly as certain of their power as Beck and his fellow fear-mongers are. According to a “review of the implementation of Agenda 21” issued by the United Nations’ division of sustainability development in January 2012, “[o]verall … progress on Agenda 21 has been limited,” with “no progress” or “regression” in the areas of promoting sustainable human settlement development and changing consumption patterns. (In other words, the ultra-spartan “living spaces” Beck’s book envisions are not exactly around the corner.) The bottom line is that, as has been amply demonstrated by decades of failed peacekeeping initiatives, humanitarian interventions, and other unsuccessful efforts, the U.N. is a cumbersome body with lots of high-minded ideals but little ability to implement them. As with fears that this international coalition will somehow manage to confiscate Americans’ guns and obliterate the Second Amendment, the idea that it will seize control of property and implement an enviro-communist technocratic dictatorship is not only paranoid, but patently absurd.

  • Erika

    Somewbat approrpriate to this topic i got a call from a truly bizarre poll last night. Now, for some unknown reason i constantly get called in polls (probably because i actually answer the questions no matter how ludicrous – and um, i actually love getting the bizarre poll questions because i think they are hilarious) but this one really took the cake for sheer insanity.

    The topic of this poll was mass disasters and “doomsday prepping” – the questions were actually sort of hilarious asking things like wheter you believe there could be a global nuclear attack in the future (answer is obviously yes since anything which is technically possible *could* happen) and a whole lot of things about eletromagnetic pulses whatever they are. You could not make something so bizarre up and i really could not figure out exactly who came up with this things (the call from the poll asking my opinion of Donald Trump as a presidential candidate made more sense – i mean, it was likely a vanity poll funded by Donald Trump himself). Maybe this was some sort of bizarre promotional push for that Doomsday Preppers show? Of course, Glenn Beck who is a conspiracy nut preaching doomsday himself could be behind it.

    Maybe it was a push poll funded by the tinfoil sales industry to increase sales of tinfoil hats :)

    It was hilarious – obviously i still have a problem with laughing in inappropriate moments ;)

  • Erika

    Adam honey, since you do not seem to know the diffrence between hate and criticism, by your own definition, you are a hater.

    Just look at what you said: “right wing thinkers and people like Glenn Beck”

    That obviously implies that Glenn Beck is not a thinker which is criticism of Glenn Beck so ergo by your definition that criticizing a right winger makes one a hater, you are obviously a hater. .

  • Sammi Jo

    Just in time for Christmas…the fruit cake that never goes away, just keeps coming back around…Glenn Beck.

  • aadila

    Erika, since I lack Rey’s moral courage to pursue novels and instead have devoted myself to screen writing, my professional view is that if this book does make it to screen it will be the lowest budget, non-rated, straight to video schlock since Battle of Los Angeles.

  • aadila

    Rey, I thought coconuts were oilseeds. Which is not to say one shan’t air their oilseeds in public, local ordinances and weather permitting…which if I understand correctly, in Florida, they generally do.

  • Reynardine

    No, Adam. We don’t hate Glen Beck. We observe him with a mixture of amused contempt and genuine concern for his sanity.

  • CoralSea

    Actually, I think it would be REALLY fun to throw this book to the wolves at some fan fiction convention. Science Fiction fans are especially known for their rabid attention to detail and their ability to sniff out both inconsistencies and poor adaptations or “borrowings” from other works since they read a lot. I would love to hear a critique session on this lovely piece. Science Fiction fans tend to be about 30 to 50 IQ points higher, on average, than the typical Beck fan, and a lot more discerning.

    I have a few friends who are travelers in that world. I’ll have to see if they might be interested.

  • Ruslan Amirkhanov

    “Most of the comments on here are inane.”

    Really? Tell us why.

    ” But, the book sounds interesting.”

    As a glimpse into right-wing schizophrenia? Absolutely.

    ” That being said, I wonder why a fictional book produced in a free-speech society is on a hate watch……”

    What aadila said…

  • Adam

    It’s fascinating to read all the hate spewed at right wing thinkers and people like Glenn Beck on a website called Hatewatch!!

  • Reynardine

    CoralSea, there are tropical almonds and coconuts in South Florida who are outside without being cool at all.

  • Sharonms

    As a lifelong Mormon, I am qualified to EASILY AGREE with the comment posted by “Caleb.” Caleb is RIGHT ON. The LDS Church needs to emerge and move forward from its 19th Century beliefs, most of which have been debunked.

  • Madeline

    Glenn Beck needs a doctor, and a good one ASAP….

  • Erika

    Wentra, maybe because this fictional book is a screed based upon common conspiracy theories among the ultra right wing who often are white supremacists or general haters.

    But most likely because the plot is so riduculous as to be hilarious (its really unfortunate that MST3K is no longer on the air for the inevitable movie version of this garbage) (what’s more embarassing – having written a riduculous book copied from many others – or buying one that someone else wrote and putting your name on it?) a way to show that watching the radical right is not only necessary, it can also be cause for laughter.

    Of course, it is also the SPLC’s blog and the First Amendment gives them the right to put whatever they want on it including a hilarious book review of what is no doubt a terrible book :)

  • Reynardine

    Oh, look, little Wentra is back!

    Wentra, it’s here because Glen Beck is pretending he wrote it. If not, it would have been indistinguishable from any other used toilet paper.

  • SAS

    No wonder this fellow is a star among right wingers.

  • aadila

    Wentra,

    “Freedom of speech does not mean freedom from criticism.”

  • Wentra

    Most of the comments on here are inane. But, the book sounds interesting. I can’t wait to read it since I find the dystopian genre interesting. That being said, I wonder why a fictional book produced in a free-speech society is on a hate watch……

  • Reynardine

    Aadila, they are permissive towards their usually white, male, “Christian” selves alone.

  • Erika

    aadila, there is a technical term for the right wing approach to morals: hypocracy.

    They want to control everyone else’s morals by force of prison or maybe even death, but reserve the right to do whatever they want behind closed doors. For the right wing, it seems, morals are only for little people.

  • CoralSea

    Cool! (As are any nuts that are outside today. Damned winter!)

  • Reynardine

    Coral, you have won the coveted Epigrammy.

  • aadila

    Erika,

    Most of the conservatives I know are very loose with their sexual morals, one might even say…permissive. And yet they deny behaving like bonobo monkeys the moment a margarita is in hand, and are the first to gossip about others for doing the same.

  • aadila

    An award for Coral, Rey. The people demand it.

  • CoralSea

    Sam — yeah, but if the oppressive regime in this book are so enthralled with squirrels, how could they have a problem with the displaying of nuts?

    Sorry — couldn’t resist.

  • Erika

    It appears that Sam has never read Brave New World where drugs and sexual promiscuity was used as means of socail control by a totalitarian regieme.

    And there can be no legitimate question as to what side in this country is “highly moralistic about those types of issues.” Its not the side represented by Glenn Beck who had to put his name on someone else’s riduculous leftover Cold War paranoa freak out.

  • Sam Molloy

    Aadila, one could expect squirrel worshippers to be tolerant of nudity in the city and sex in the forest, but most totalitarian regimes are highly moralistic about those types of issues.

  • Reynardine

    Since there are many human beings who cannot assimilate plant proteins, we are going to be somewhat carnivorous, but that does not mean that before slaughter, the poor animals have to be imrisoned in Abu Ghraib-like conditions, tortured, and poisoned. How wholesome is such meat, anyway? I received a livestock catalogue, which advertised that their dietary additives make your calves, lambs, and pigs gain TEN POUNDS A DAY! AND DO NOT HAVE TO BE WITHDRAWN BEFORE SLAUGHTER! Obesity epidemic, anyone? Declining human sperm counts and testicular size, anyone?

  • aadila

    Rey, on animal suffering, I totally agree. When we begin to differentiate human suffering from animal suffering we are talking about the same thing as finding something different between my suffering and your suffering. Suffering is just suffering…

    But on eating meat, I would like to point out that even in the relatively strict tradition of some forms of Buddhism, where eating flesh is shunned, monks routinely beg for their one meal a day. This means accepting meat (or animal derived foods such as broth, eggs or fish sauce) because this is what is offered, and also because not accepting means starvation. One can honor what we eat in various ways, and vegetarianism is just one of those approaches…we live in a carnivorous, predatory plane of existence here on Earth.

    Mind you the Jainists — who are the most nonviolent of all religions — even boil their water and consume it within four hours to avoid consuming anything living, even microrganisms, for karmic reasons. There is also, to apply Marx, a real function to this religious practice of purifying the water.

    Anyway the important thing for me is intent, and I personally believe this transcends all religious practice. If one intends harm, or is callous to suffering, these are matters of degree. I have found that the right wing is exceedingly callous in all things, including their attitude toward the suffering of other sentient beings. Indeed the glorification of it.

    Belittling the compassion of others is a sign of great moral confusion.

  • aadila

    “I have a bad feeling I won’t like those ill fitting gray uniforms at all.”

    Have comfortable clothes ever stopped you from streaking, Sam?

  • CM

    “ … when animals and nature are valued more highly than human life, all kinds of absurd things begin to enter the realm of possibility.”

    Of course, it would never occur to the relentlessly fatuous Beck that the preservation of animals and nature is essential to human life per se and to any intelligent understanding of the quality of human life. So let’s rewrite this claim to identify the real threat, which happens to be the “agenda” that Beck himself tirelessly promotes:

    “… when profits and worldly power are valued more highly than human life, all kinds of absurd things begin to enter the realm of possibility.”

  • Reynardine

    Glacial till, I meant to say: no soil is tilth till you till it. (Caffeine. I must have caffeine.)

  • Sam Molloy

    It sounds like the recently more radical Adbusters Magazine idea of Utopia. I have a bad feeling I won’t like those ill fitting gray uniforms at all.

  • Reynardine

    A curious and disturbing fact, though, is that there seems to be a requirement in the right-wing catechism that was never touched on by even the rankest McCarthyists sixty years ago: animal-hating. This especially applies to wild animals (“…right next to the mashed potatoes”), and cats, who have enough of wildness left in them to enrage authoritarians. I suspect, though, that it applies to all animals in some measure, even dogs, who are currently routinely castrated, even though their sexuality is easily enough controlled with a leash. It carries over, I think, to the right-wing sacrament of the barbecue, which involves the mountainous burnt-offerings of dead animal flesh, and the sacralization of hunting by people who can’t hit a barn door with a double-barreled shotgun. I suspect it’s part of the, “You’re INFERIOR, dammit, I have a right to do anything I want to you, and don’t you forget it!” mindset they have towards everyone else (Note: I do eat meat, even occasionally barbecued: it’s the barbecue *culture* I’m talking about).

  • Reynardine

    I could romanticize Kansas, but not for such a reason.

    My first love was Dr. Rollin D. Salisbury. I was eight years old, and he had already been dead almost thirty years. His prose, though, was very much alive in his signature work, “Physiography”, which was filled with the most enchanting description of – my favorite- vulcanism (the lava in the crater of Stromboli was described as “much like boiling mush”), and then, my next favorite, glaciation. I have never been able to pass through the Midwest without looking for signs of it: an esker in Southern Illinois, a drumlin in Wisconsin, the old shore of Lake Chicago in Indiana, or the loess and ancient alluvial tilth of the High Plains. He was writing, of course, before continental drift was accepted or plate tectonics was understood at all, but you couldn’t read him without falling in love with the land. We’ve done it some precious bad ruin, but it’ll be here when we have moved on…through evolution to something better, or to extinction.

  • CoralSea

    Ruslan –

    I particularly liked the whole “Kansas-invasive reproductive probe-forced breeding” thing as well as the shout out to homeschooling.

    The Kansas thing because Kansas is definitely in the running for one of the most repressive states when it comes to reproductive rights, and homeschooling, since, as you pointed out, one wonders just what our spunky young heroine was taught.

    I’m a little surprised that her homeschooling gave her any usable information for her “escape.” No science or anything. And it isn’t as if (based on what I’ve seen of my own homeschooled drone nieces and nephew) that it would have empowered her to think or act independently.

    This book really is a glorious mish-mash.

    I once attended at “pitch session” for authors to several agents sponsored by Writer’s Digest. The most “out there” pitch was something along the lines of:

    “My story is about an alien who goes under the sea and has a sexual relationship with an android and then they came up out of the sea and fought the New York mob.”

    That was bad, and a weird mix of genres (none of the agents asked him to submit it to them, instead suggesting that he stick with one genre and setting, at least for his first book), but this new thing is significantly “badder” (I am reluctant to use the word “worse” because somehow, “badder” seems appropriate-er).

    On the other hand, if one is snowed in with friends, round-robin dramatic readings from this tome, lubricated by lots of mind altering substances, would certainly make for a fun time.

  • Ruslan Amirkhanov

    Well this would have won the Stupidest Thing I’ve Heard All Week Award had I not just had to smack down a Nazi on some other board prior to writing this comment.

    “At the novel’s beginning, Emmeline lives with her parents in a tiny space just big enough for sleeping mats and the treadmill-like “energy boards” on which she and her mother must walk interminable hours to feed energy into the Republic’s insatiable power grid.”

    So the evil sustainable future government is not interested in reducing power usage. Interesting. What kind of moronic government would consider this to be even remotely efficient?

    “There are no books,”

    Because we know how much conservatives love books.

    “prayer is forbidden,”

    Prayer is forbidden, but animals are worshiped. Sounds legit!!

    ” At night, humans must attend Social Update meetings, where they pledge allegiance to the earth and mindlessly praise the Republic.”

    I’m sorry but isn’t this coming from the same group of people who treat the real pledge to the Republic like it’s some kind of sacred national ritual even though it was invented in the 1890s by Christian socialist Francis Bellamy?

    “Under the tutelage of her mother, a former high school history and Sunday School teacher who revered the Founding Fathers,”

    Like Beck, she probably knows nothing about them.

    ” Emmeline learns a bit about the “before-times,” when she and her parents lived on a big farm in Kansas.”

    Kansas. I can just see all these conservatives who actually live in the suburbs of major cities just fawning over “small town” life in rural Kansas. Many of them have never been to Kansas I suspect. It is the last place you want to idealize.

    “But everything changes when it is discovered that Emmeline is of reproductive age. Whisked to a medical clinic for invasive testing which confirms her fertility, she is issued a headscarf – which like all women of childbearing age she must wear whenever she is outside of her living space”

    Hmm…So this is how they work in the Islamic angle in a society that forbids the mention of God…but worships animals. BRILLIANT!

  • CoralSea

    Well, I guess it could be a good “companion” piece for those who love Ayn Rand’s impenetrable tomes. Nothing says “Christmas” like a book that excoriates atheists — oh, wait! Ayn Rand was an atheist! Well, at least she wasn’t a communist and really hated them, so I guess that actually probably makes her a Christian. She was probably just pretending to be an atheist so she could reach and “convert” the real socialists and communists. Yeah — let’s go with that!

  • aadila

    Rey’s right. This is a marketing con.

    Meanwhile now the good little Beckers will march in lockstep, cheering and jeering all the way as our species heads toward extinction…

    U.N., please, please, establish a one-world government and send in your blue helmets. And while you are at it, please microchip Glenn Beck.

  • Reynardine

    RLT, your timing is about right. It sounds like the woman who actually wrote it was trying to be the Right Wing’s answer to Margaret Atwood, and she sailed over like a wingless lead hangglider. So she sold it outright to Glen Peckerwood, who at least is good at getting attention. You know that the only reason it gets read or reviewed at all is because of its “author”.

  • Doug Harvey

    Must . . . climb . . . tree . . . worship . . . His . . . Nuttiness . . .

  • Aron

    I for one welcome our adorable pouched-cheek overlords.

    Nourishment cubes for all!!!

    (I’m going to attempt to eat a bullion cube in solidarity.)

  • Erika

    CM, that comment was priceless :)

    CoralSea, you are right when you really think about it (not that Glenn Beck’s fanbase will, otherwise they will not read something by Glenn Beck) is a picture remarkably similar to 19th Century Capitalism with the added factor that under the Capitalistic system there would be much opportunity for creation of additional maimed people through industrial accidents.

    It also makes a lot more sense for uber capitalists to destroy Christianity rather than Socialists. Christianity is much more capatable with Socialism than Capitalism.

    It also sounds like it was stolen from numerous dytopian novels – or paranoid Cold War Era rants.

  • aadila

    Satire can be fun.

    But I have a feeling it will reach for easy criticism and obtuse charicatures to furrow the brows of unwashed Republicans, rather than true, acid-dipped wickedness that brings such delight.

    Translated: chances are it sucks.

  • Reynardine

    Well, Coral Sea, it’s called DARVO.

  • CoralSea

    What a hilarious mish-mash of garbage! However, in the words of one of my favorite T-shirts, it “Needs more dragons,” because it certainly has everything else — including the kitchen sink.

    We all know that Beck is an attention whore–but how on earth did ANYONE come up with this thing? Let’s see — people are monitored all the time, and females are subjected to invasive examination of their reproductive organs and then forced to wear headscarfs. Gee — that sounds more like some of the crazier elements of the Republican Party and their preoccupation with women’s sex lives.

    But I particularly like the part where deformed infants, people who can’t produce anymore, and (just for the heck of it) dissidents are recycled in factories where teenagers labor. That sounds more like Ayn Rand and, again, various Republicans who seek to repeal child labor laws. Of course, they don’t kill deformed infants — they just make sure that they are born and then leave them (and their parents) to shoulder all of the medical costs (I’m not endorsing the elimination of “deformed” infants — but given our messed up system, their care falls primarily on parents after the “life-time cap” is reached — if the parents even HAVE insurance).

    And of course the descriptions of non-stop work for barely subsistence “wages” (food cubes, shacks) are also much more in keeping with the desires of some of the more rabid “business leaders,” who seek to bust unions.

    Actually — I think THEY are most likely symbolized by the “squirrels” in this story.

  • CM

    No surprise that a nut would see squirrels as a threat.

  • Caleb.

    This is somehow shocking why? That guy is a right wing squirrel himself, living in a different reality than the rest of the world. Most people that have half a brain know that and he hass lost most of his credibility except maybe in Mormon dominated states like Idaho and Utah who think he hung the moon because he is a Mormon himself. Just goes to show how groups of people that have been trained not to think for themselves will believe anything they are told as long as the right people tell them what to believe.

  • Erika

    Only a complete fool who has never ever actually read the New Testament would think that a group of Socialists would want to outlaw the Bible and Christianity. It is actually the devotees of Mammon of which Glenn Beck is a devoted and faithful servant who want to use Christianity in service of Mammon while making sure that no one ever notices what Jesus said about rich people.

  • RLT

    You do know that Beck didn’t write Agenda 21. He bought the rights from the author who penned it in 1993.

  • Reynardine

    Damn, Glenn Beck is just riled that any *other* squirrel could be more popular than himself.