Gradualism is a process-oriented approach to learning the physical skills of sexuality in step with gaining maturity in the psychological aspects of sexual intimacy. Gradualism is anchored on set levels of sexuality activity. These levels are:

Level 1: Being near another.

Level 2: Holding hands, hugging and the like.

Level 3: Kissing.

Level 4: Breast fondling.

Level 5: Mutual hand exploration of the genitals.

Level 6: Total nudity, perhaps in a bathtub. Manual stimulation.

Level 7: Oral sex.

Level 8: The final level of sexual intimacy.

Level 5 is the break-off point. Only people who truly love can care enough to handle beyond Level 5. Level 5 provides 60 percent of the overall fun of sex.

Kissing is probably among the most harmful practices in which our culture indulges. I know of no absolute way to compare the amount of disease attributable to sexual intercourse as compared to mouth-to-mouth exchange. But one would suspect there are far more dangerous diseases communicated by mouth than by the genital track.

Gradualism would best be practiced at home. A responsible set of parents might allot a room, privacy, access to a bathroom, a television, and snacks to their teen-agers to practice gradualism. Some parents may shudder at this prospect. But they should remember that the minute a teenager leaves in a car, he or she is able to do anything desired.

Another advantage of gradualism is the insulation value it provides against homosexuality. By gradually introducing a young person to the opposite sex, gradualism steers in a heterosexual direction. While no parent wants his child starting the sexual process "too young," better too young than homosexual.

-- Reprinted from Sexual Gradualism by Paul Cameron

Intelligence Report
Winter 2005