In the article “The Promise of Building Bridges,” Maia Ferdman and Felicia Graham explain the UCLA Dialogue Across Difference Initiative and the dialogue opportunity, emphasizing:
“Dialogue does not shy away from differences, but rather confronts and negotiates them directly, skillfully and respectfully. This ability to handle conflict or difficult conversations in educational, work and community settings is essential for everyone, and as such, is built over time.”
We must build the essential dialogue skills for engaging in critical conversations — discussions about the ways that injustice affects our lives and our society.
So, what is dialogue across difference? How is dialogue foundational to democracy? And why is dialogue essential to counter the toxic effects of polarization in our communities and across the nation?
In this module, we will engage in critical thinking, reflection, dialogue and concrete practice to:
- Define and analyze dialogue, dialogue across difference, critical conversations and political polarization.
- Understand some essential skills for engaging, facilitating and convening across difference.
- Work toward a culture of dialogue and bridge-building to develop and strengthen coalitions and community civic participation.
Note: Learning for Justice is a project of the Southern Poverty Law Center, a 501(c)(3) nonpartisan nonprofit that does not engage in political activity. This means that, while we can discuss how to improve dialogue related to various topics, some of which may relate to political issues, we cannot discuss candidates or political parties in a way that favors one party over another.
Dialogue skills can develop foundational capacity for civic engagement and collective action to strengthen our democracy. The heart of dialogue is not in speaking to convince but rather in active listening and questioning to understand one another.
I. What Is Dialogue Across Difference?
“It is not our role to speak to people about our own view of the world, nor to attempt to impose that view on them, but rather to dialogue with the people about their view and ours. We must realize that their view of the world, manifested variously in their action, reflects their situation in the world.”
— Paulo Freire, “Pedagogy of the Oppressed”
1. Understanding dialogue. Read and analyze the quote from Paulo Freire and the definitions of dialogue, dialogue across difference and critical conversations.
- Dialogue can be defined as engagement in shared conversation and inquiry, involving deeply listening to one another to understand and build bridges.
- Dialogue across differences focuses on intentional opportunities to enter into shared inquiry with others who hold different identities, backgrounds, perspectives and experiences to develop understanding of one another, thereby opening ourselves to listening with the mutual goal of learning.
- Critical conversations involve discussions about the ways that injustice affects our lives and our society. These issues can be challenging as we approach them across our different identities, backgrounds and perspectives — engaging both within our own in-groups and across the ideological divisions.
Reflect and discuss:
- What do you take away from Freire’s quote? What does he mean when he says we should speak of “their view and ours?” What does he mean by “their situation in the world”?
- Consider the following key phrases in the definition of dialogue: “shared conversation,” “deeply listening,” and “build bridges.” What do these phrases tell us about the purpose of dialogue?
- Reflect on the makeup of your family and social circles. How often do you discuss difficult topics with others who have different perspectives? Are these conversations situated on the same general side of an issue or different sides?
2. Read and analyze “Dialogue Across Difference” by Brandon Haas.
Consider the following key points (highlight them in a printed copy of the article).
- Unlike debate — in which opposing perspectives on a topic are defended to convince others of a particular viewpoint — dialogue is a joint effort that honors participants’ diverse experiences and perspectives.
- The heart of dialogue is not in speaking to convince but rather in active listening and questioning to understand one another.
- The goal of dialogue across difference is not simply for one person to change their beliefs; instead, dialogue focuses on growth and progress through newfound understanding of others.
- Having dialogue engages people with the stories of others as they listen and learn about different experiences, fostering emotional connections.
- Identities and experiences determine our positionality to social issues and ideas. Engaging participants from various parts of the community is essential.
- Since difference does not solely occur across the ideological divisions but also within our own in-groups, we should equally commit to dialogue about differences with our allies to better understand how we can jointly address problems.
- Combined, intra- and intergroup dialogue helps people to recognize the interconnections necessary for understanding through dialectical thinking — holding contradictory ideas and multiple perspectives.
Reflect, map your ideas and discuss:
- What are the ways dialogue and debate differ? What is the purpose of dialogue? How might dialogue skills be useful in community meetings and education spaces?
- Consider your own identity. Create an identity chart of all the intersecting aspects of your identity. [Or refer back to the Module 1: The Values of Democracy exercise in which you created an identity chart.]
- How do the different facets of your identity position you on important social issues in your community, state and country? What are some gaps in your knowledge that you could use dialogue to fill in?
II. Active Listening and Questioning in Dialogue
“The heart of dialogue is not in speaking to convince but rather in active listening and questioning to understand one another.”
— from “Dialogue Across Difference”
1. Research online the characteristics of active listening for communication.
This handout on active listening from Boston University offers some helpful information.
- Map out together on chart paper the basic characteristics of active listening. Discuss how active listening and questioning are essential to dialogue.
- How can active listening and questioning help us with dialectical thinking — holding contradictory ideas and multiple perspectives?
2. Build the muscles for dialogue across difference.
Think about the stories from your own life and experiences that illustrate your values and how you acted on those values. Consider where you come from, the people who inspired you, your interests and your life experiences — especially moments in which you made choices or decisions based on your values. [Refer to the “Our Stories Matter” exercise from Module 1 of this course.]
- Practice with a partner sharing your stories in two-to-three-minute speaking and listening exercises, in which one person speaks and the other actively listens, noting key ideas and moments in which dialogue questions might offer opportunity to learn more or invite the speaker to reflect on what was said.
- After the first speaker shares, the listener should practice questioning about one or two important details from what the speaker shared to go deeper and learn more. Focus questioning on what was said (“I heard you say…”) with the goal of learning more, and give the speaker time to elaborate on the point.
- Reverse roles so the listener now shares their story and the speaker now listens. Practice speaking, listening and questioning as above.
You can continue this exercise more than once. To start, choose topics more focused on learning about one another (rather than critical conversation topics) to practice.
This exercise can become an ongoing part of community and classroom meetings to allow practice in building the muscles of dialogue and recognizing our diversity.
The UCLA Dialogue Across Difference Initiative offers a model to foster a culture of meaningful exchange, empathy and critical thinking in education and communities.
III. How Is Dialogue Foundational to Democracy?
“Values connect us as a society, even when the particulars of how society operates differ. These differences, and the imperative to have dialogue about civic life, are fundamental to democratic society.”
— from “What Are the Values of Democracy?”
In a democracy, government should serve the needs of everyone. This is “both a commitment and a challenge, because within the collective whole there are diverse experiences and perspectives to be heard and respected if they do not cause harm to others — a concept known as pluralism.” Pluralistic systems of political parties, organizations and media are essential for democracy to thrive because differing perspectives are a central feature of democracy.
Understanding that pluralism is a core feature of the democratic process underscores how dialogue and the goal of building bridges across our differences are foundational to democracy.
1. Dialogue and Democracy. Review your analysis of “Dialogue Across Difference.” Highlight and reflect on the following key concepts and discuss them.
- Dialogue can serve as a marker of “intrinsic equality” or the assumption that the good of all human beings is fundamentally equal, according to political scientist Robert A. Dahl.
- Within groups, learning and consensus-building can lead to stronger decisions because, as political scientist Diana Mutz points out, they familiarize groups with legitimate rationales of opposing views, and they normalize political difference as part of the democratic process.
- Political tolerance concerns the ways that people agree to disagree. However, understanding that political differences exist does not mean acceptance of injustice nor validation of hate and bias.
- Dialogue skills address differences in direct and respectful ways, centering the ability to engage in and facilitate difficult conversations and handle conflict.
- Differences in power dynamics and structural hierarchies cannot be ignored as we seek to understand one another. The reality of these unequal structures and the history of injustice should be integral to how we engage in and facilitate dialogue.
- Dialogue across difference and on critical topics allows conversations around issues of injustice and inequality so we can strive for a more just and democratic society.
Reflect, discuss and practice:
- What does pluralism mean to you? How can dialogue help us build consensus and ground ourselves in democratic values while understanding differences?
- Think of a recent time when you entered a conversation with someone about a topic that you did not agree on. Do you recall whether you sought to convince the other person of your perspective or if you only aimed to learn about their perspective? How might approaching conversation to learn change the dynamic of the discussion?
2. Read “The Promise of Building Bridges” by Maia Ferdman and Felicia Graham.
Political and social issues often challenge deeply rooted beliefs and perspectives that are tied to our identities, experiences and backgrounds. Dialogue across difference can move us beyond our comfort zones and help us learn about others’ perspectives and experiences.
In the article, highlight and analyze key points on the aims and outcomes of dialogue. Analyze the following points:
- Deepened intellectual engagement with difficult concepts and increased critical thinking skills to become more nimble, flexible and thoughtful problem-solvers.
- Added nuance to discourse and broadened understanding, especially on topics that often lead to polarization.
- Investigation of why people are so divided on various political issues rather than making assumptions about others’ moral character.
- Improved dialectical thinking skills, helping us examine opposing or contradictory ideas and face complicated or even unanswerable problems with greater resilience.
- Increased empathy and an environment where everyone can show up as their full selves, feel seen and connect with one another more authentically.
- Creation of shared group norms that everyone buys into, and strengthened ability to share perspectives openly and invest in intentional relationship-building.
- Improved ability to effectively address and resolve conflict.
- Improved decision-making for leaders as they learn to incorporate the considerations and expertise of diverse constituencies.
Reflect and discuss:
- How do you see yourself using the practice of dialogue? In what specific spaces will these skills be beneficial, and to what purpose?
- How can dialogue help you increase empathy and create an environment where everyone feels seen and connected? How can dialogue improve our ability to resolve conflict?
- As a group, brainstorm and practice dialogue to reach consensus about shared norms for coming together in community. Use the dialogue exercise from section II on Active Listening and Questioning in Dialogue to practice. [Alternatively, consider practicing with a dialogue prompt that allows you to consider diverse perspectives while learning about one another.]
- Map out some similarities and differences you might see in friends, political allies or people from your community. Why is recognizing that others’ situations are different from our own important for dialogue and democracy?
IV. Engaging in Critical Conversations
Critical conversations are a form of dialogue in which people engage in discussions around difficult topics, especially the ways that injustice affects our lives and our society. These conversations explore the relationships between identity and power, trace structures that privilege some at the expense of others, and help us think through the civic actions we can take to create a more just, equitable world.
Many people want to talk about critical conversation issues, recognizing the injustice inherent in racism, gender bias, ableism, anti-immigrant sentiment, religious and anti-LGBTQ+ bias, and more — and they see how these prejudices harm people every day.
1. The skills for engaging in critical conversations.
Critical conversations require openness to new ideas and learning. This is not an easy practice; to engage in critical conversations, we must build and exercise specific skills:
- Listening. Deeply hearing what others say and the feelings, experiences and wisdom behind what they say.
- Humility. Recognizing that, however passionately we hold ideas and opinions, other people may hold pieces of the puzzle that we don’t.
- Respect. Trusting the integrity of others, believing they have the right to their opinions (even when different from your own) and valuing others enough to risk sharing ideas.
- Trust. Building a safer, braver space to explore new ideas and work through conflicts, controversy and painful moments that may arise when talking about issues of injustice and oppression.
- Advocacy. Speaking the truth as we see it and asking questions about things we don’t know or understand, particularly on topics related to identity, power and justice.
Reflect and discuss:
- How do these skills for engaging in critical conversations build on active listening? Which ones resonate with you and why?
- Review a reliable news source that covers some local, national and world issues. Which of these topics might you consider for holding critical conversations? Highlight the top five issues you would like to discuss and learn more about the perspectives of others in your social group (or other participants).
- Consider again your identity, background and experiences. Which critical conversation topics do you have strong feelings about? Which affect you? And for which topics might you be an ally or advocate if not directly affected?
2. Assess your comfort level.
The Teaching Hard History podcast, Season 1: American Slavery, Episode 4, “Doing the Work of Teaching Hard History,” explains that it is common for educators to avoid topics that may cause discomfort. The tendency of avoiding topics that make us uncomfortable also goes beyond the classroom, and it is therefore important to reflect on your own level of comfort with different topics.
Think about the ways that race or ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation and LGBTQ+ identity, disability, class or socioeconomic background, religion, and immigration status affect inclusion and exclusion in our communities and country. Reflect on your comfort levels with some of these areas and/or the critical conversation topics identified previously in this module.
To evaluate your comfort levels, ask yourself:
- Which topics do I feel least comfortable discussing? Do I see any commonalities?
- Which topics do I feel most comfortable discussing? Do I see any commonalities?
- Which topics most affect me?
- Which topics most affect young people in my community?
- About which topics do I know least or have the least experience?
- About which topics do I know most or have the most experience?
3. Listen to learn with constructivist listening dyads.
Constructivist listening dyads can be used in an active listening strategy that highlights the importance of listening, holding space and emotional processing and reflection. People often do not listen with the intent to understand. Instead, they listen with the intent to reply. This activity aims to help us listen to understand others’ experiences and perspectives. It also allows us to be vulnerable with one another, thereby fostering stronger relationships. It offers us time to speak and be heard.
By sharing with a partner, you make your perspectives and experiences known. This helps foster empathy and gives us another perspective to consider.
- Ask a friend, colleague or learning partner to practice. Choose a topic or prompt for dialogue and reflect on the prompt.
- One person responds to the prompt for two minutes. It is important to continue talking for the full two minutes, even if you feel like you do not have enough to say. This encourages the person speaking to expand on their thinking, which can allow their listening partner to gain more insight. During this time, the listening partner just listens. There is no note-taking or responses during the two minutes.
- The listener then summarizes what they heard for one minute. By giving an extended time to summarize what you heard, you focus on what was said and actively demonstrate your listening.
- Switch roles and repeat the process.
V. Countering Polarization: A National Problem
Polarization is toxic to democracy and limits us — as individuals, organizations and nations — in our ability to respond to the critical needs of today. A culture of dialogue creates opportunities to reach across our differences and to engage one another, which is crucial for strengthening democracy, especially in the face of growing authoritarianism.
The current political and social polarization of our society — the increasing divisive movements away from the center — can affect our ability to communicate and understand one another.
The key points on polarization in this section are from “Dialogue Across Difference” by Brandon Haas and “The Promise of Building Bridges” by Maia Ferdman and Felicia Graham.
1. Analyze the following ideas about polarization.
- Polarized discourse often oversimplifies complex issues, masking difficult concepts in two-dimensional ways that can make it difficult to recognize or consider how these issues impact diverse individuals or groups in different ways.
- Increasing polarization across our nation, and local communities, means that we often find ourselves in “echo chambers” in which we are only exposed to those who share our perspectives. This can lead us to vilify those viewed as “the other.” Social media and, indeed, other forms of polarized media, can exacerbate this echo chamber effect and further divide us.
Reflect and discuss:
- What are some examples of polarized discourse that oversimplifies complex issues? [Refer to discussions on social media on one or more of the critical conversation topics you identified as a starting point.]
- Have you experienced the echo chamber effect? In what spaces? How did this affect you?
- Reflect on your perspectives and actions. Choose a specific social or political issue to help you focus your viewpoints. Consider how you have come to the perspectives that you have. When you hear someone with a different perspective, how do you react internally? Externally? Develop a set of questions that you could ask that person to help you engage curiosity instead of judgment.
2. Polarization harms our society in many ways, including:
- Viewing those who hold different political or social opinions as threats and questioning one another’s humanity.
- Increase in implicit and explicit acts of hate and bias.
- Active dislike and even fear of the perceived “other” — this “affective polarization” is not based on engagement or knowledge, but rather on distorted, generalized or caricatured views of a perceived “other.”
- Deterioration of trust and an extreme divisiveness between opposing “sides” that in turn breeds organizational, civic and communal dysfunction.
- Intractable disagreement at the national level, which grinds the gears of government to a halt.
- Erosion of public trust in one another and in democratic processes and institutions.
- Increase in the potential for political violence.
- Deterioration of our individual and communal well-being.
- Retreat from the public sphere (according to legal scholar Norm Spaulding), in which people remain silent and disengage from public discourse due to fears of saying the wrong thing, expressing controversial ideas or being canceled by their peers.
- Anti-inclusive legislative efforts that create hostile environments for targeted groups and serve the agenda of those who wish to cling to power at the expense of our democracy.
Reflect and discuss:
- Consider the various ways polarization causes harm. Which of the above have you experienced or witnessed? Which resonate with you?
- What are some spaces in which polarization is most visible? Where is it most harmful?
- What groups and communities are being harmed right now by policies and actions that exclude and are polarizing?
3. Countering polarization.
In Module 2: Belonging, Citizenship and Democracy, we considered ideas around inclusion and exclusion. Creating a “we and they” is often a byproduct of social behaviors based on peoples’ desire to belong to a group. Subsequently, exclusion, resulting from intentional or unintentional choices and actions, has a real-world impact. Divisiveness, stemming from exclusion, lends itself to widening polarization that can become extreme if not countered.
- Consider the groups and social circles to which you belong. Are there people or groups who are excluded? Why are they excluded? How does this exclusion affect your views of your in-groups and circles?
- Review where you get your news and information. Are there a variety of sources with differing perspectives? Check your main news sources for bias and reliability using a Media Bias Chart.
- Brainstorm issues that are polarizing and toxic to democratic values in your community (or our nation). How do polarized actions (e.g., book censorships, executive orders, laws that exclude) harm individuals, communities and our nation?
- Add complexity to an issue or topic; do not let it remain one-sided or surface-level. One way to do this is to truly consider what the strongest argument for the “other side” is. Do not just parrot what comes up on media or soundbites from politicians, TV personalities, etc. Take time to look into the issue and think about why somebody you know might have a different opinion or perspective than you. Ask yourself: “What am I missing?”
4. Practice dialogue without intent to convince, but only to learn.
Consider the critical conversation topics and polarizing issues you identified earlier. As a whole group, select one or two to practice dialogue.
- For one of the topics you’ve brainstormed, in pairs, practice sharing your opinions, actively listening to the other person’s perspective, and questioning to clarify and learn more. (Refer to the active listening and questioning steps in section II of this module.)
- Continue your dialogue practice and learning. Start with someone you trust to be open with. Ask about their opinions on important issues and how they came to these perspectives. Listen with curiosity and repeat back what you learned once they finish speaking. Then switch roles. When you feel up to it, try this with a friend or loved one who you know has different views from your own.
Embracing democratic values and the ability to have dialogue across differences can counter the toxic effects of polarization — in our communities and across the nation. Understanding the values of a pluralistic society fosters respect for diversity so “the spectrum of experiences and worldviews can peacefully coexist for the common good.”