The Prince and the Pea: Oklahoma Mass Murderer’s Tummy Aches

Talk about delusional. Terry Nichols continues to believe that he is a princess in a high castle, and not a Supermax prisoner serving multiple life sentences for his role in the 1995 bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City that killed 168 people, including 19 children.

Once again, Nichols is attempting to rattle his tiny cage over the food served at the federal facility he calls home in Florence, Colo., where the 55-year old will likely spend the rest of his days. The Oklahoman newspaper reports that in July, Nichols wrote yet another legal memo demanding that the prison respect his “Christian” dietary needs. According to the paper, Nichols believes Christ wants him to subsist on raw, non-processed foodstuffs, such as uncooked vegetables, unpeeled fruit and whole-grain bread. The paper quotes Nichols’ memo as arguing, “God created our foods to be consumed in their whole unrefined state.”

To draw attention to his ongoing nutritional nightmare, Nichols has conducted three hunger strikes since February, at least one of which was ended when prison authorities jammed an IV tube into Nichols’ emaciated arm.

In order to pay for his Christian specialty diet, Nichols is asking that his $14.5 million restitution order — handed down on top of his life sentences for his role in the bombing — be lifted. According to The Associated Press, Nichols is currently allowed to spend just $25 a month.

This is not the first time Nichols has made a stink about Supermax food. As reported in Intelligence Report last summer, Nichols in April 2009 filed a gratuitously scatological lawsuit complaining that prison food made him suffer “chronic constipation, bleeding and hemorrhoids.”

For which an uninterested nation was forgiven for responding, “And your point is?”